read fast and ramble sometimes

I’ve never taken a compliment well. Like I don’t deserve the words you say and my body feels exposed from such words of gratification or beauty to come from your lips in touch with my mind, and I doubt them immediately. Immediately I disown the thoughts that you think I am something more than I think I deserve to be. I have no worries, or should I not, but I do and they are so great that they often overpower the “should’s” in my life and become the wishful thinking that dwells on the past or the future, whichever one feels necessary to worry about right now. I Think too much and your words are overwhelming to my ears, as I disbelieve the positivity in your voice, and immediately shut it down and reawaken into negative regrets or emotions to come. I see your vision but I just don’t believe it. I need more from you. I need more to feel whole. If not you, than somebody else. But for now, its you I need more from. I wish for compliments of the extreme but need not know how to react to the pureness of the words. I breathe in honesty and out I breathe imperfection and scarce thoughts of never ending emotional fatigue.

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