I have recently spent a lot of time thinking about self-hate; what ignites it and where it’s embers immerse into flames of unidentifiable loathing for ones own attributes and insecurities.
We don’t deserve to hate ourselves. Hate, ever since we were young was “a strong word”. You never wanted to actually hate something unless you were in a fit of anger, complete sadness or lets be real you just really didn’t want to consume your vegetables, then you “hated your parents” or “hated asparagus”. It was always more of a strong dislike though, you just wanted to scream hate at the top of your lungs mainly to seem more triumphant and probably make a scene.
I think we have the ability to truly dislike other people and other inanimate objects, but when it comes to hate we take it out on ourselves.
Some people are fabulous at hiding their insecurities with their strong personalities, their big smiles and colorful spirits. Most of us, however, are in a constant struggle of making ourselves feel good about ourselves and hoping other people get it. This typically stems from pleasing other people. There is a life battle between finding acceptance from other people and being who you want to be. The trouble is finding a balance.
We could completely disown the opinions of others and do what we feel is right every single day, but if we don’t have a speck of interest in the opinions of others what is the truth in being our own person. Love is a part of life. Loving ourselves and loving other people, places, memories, objects etc. Love is a huge part of life and with no care in the world about the truth lying behind the eyes of strangers will we have the ability to accept and indulge in love. So, to love ourselves we must learn to love others. But mustn’t we love ourselves before we love others? I think we must accept ourselves before we love others, and once we truly accept ourselves we have the ability to love–in general. Sometimes we learn to love somebody else before we love ourselves, and sometimes the courage to love ourselves comes before we love another, but the stem of acceptance is a trigger for a beautiful life.
Find joy in acceptance and appreciate your individuality. Have the backbone to take criticisms but also stand up for yourself. Even in times of complete aloneness you have the power to stand up to your own hateful thoughts. Whether they come from your own mind or they are the words of another person, you have the ability to shine through the darkness with personal acceptance; for love is soon to come.
Self hate isn’t worth the battle.